Tuesday, August 28, 2012

My Old Lady Suit

I got up this morning and put on my Old Lady Suit. The one with the achey shoulder, wishing for Granny's rumatiz medicine. The one with the achey knees and the hot flashes. In fact, I got into the car and turned on the air-conditioner full blast only to discover that it must be out. That, my friends, is worth a trip to the dealership for repair!

Rumatiz got you down?
Of course, it doesn't help that I have the mind-set that once school starts I can wear jeans. It's still too hot for jeans in reality. Though, I'll do anything to avoid shorts most of the time. I could have worn them today, though, since my Old Lady Suit didn't include the knee-high nylons pooled around my ankles. They're probably in the laundry that my lazy butt is behind on, as usual.

I brought my dog out to walk after school drop-off and since there wasn't a spot to park, I drove past the school to the private school down the road. We walked to a trailhead where we saw the sign warning us about rattlesnakes and mountain lions. It's funny how I only think about those dangerous animals when I see a sign and I hike along the same area from different trailheads all the time. I'm sure they don't stick to the posted areas, either.

The hike was straight up and my creaky knees were warning me about the last time I pushed them too hard. I slowed down a bit and kept going. My dog was panting like he'd just seen a cute pack of co-ed's running by, but when we reached the top, he didn't slow down - any further than his slow butt was already going. He walked past and sniffed to and fro while I tried to orient myself to where we were. I thought the trail was going to join a familiar loop and I knew that I should really go ahead and keep going. Unfortunately, (or rather fortunately) I couldn't figure out where we were in relation to what I knew. I felt guilty to turn back around and start walking down. My dog seemed disappointed but not in a way that made it hard to re-direct him.

As we walked down the trail again, I ran into a woman I know from school and we chatted a bit. She commented on the size of my dog and asked if he was friendly. After all of my crazy experiences, I know that my dog has an unpredictable side, but it's predictably so. I told her he was friendly unless another dog talks shit about his mother to him. I left out the part where he hates to be mounted. It should go without saying.

Just as we reached the bottom, we walked around a beautifully groomed grass field at the private school. My dog loves grass, but rarely gets a chance to walk on it. He started mowing it like the part-goat that he is until he came to some shade, in which he laid down. All my guilt for being an old lady today went away. That, and I can feel the burn in my thighs.

It's not that being old is a bad thing. In fact, age is only a marker of time, not an absolute when it comes to behaviors or physical milestones. And all my old age issues aren't even age related. The dark spots on my jawline aren't from age, but sun damage (says my Dermatologist). Either that or my dark brown leather couch is bleeding on me when I take my afternoon naps. And again, naps are not an age thing. Perhaps it's just a Greek thing. Or a Spanish thing. Not that I'm either of those nationalities, but since I've travelled to both of those countries, I'm allowed to nap every afternoon.

And my shoulder isn't rumatiz, but probably from hefting a Laser onto the top of my car. That's when my shoulder pains started. And the knees, that's probably from being overweight. That I blame on my age. Grown ups just can't eat junk food the way kids can and I can't seem to remember that. I enjoy my cupcakes and Donettes. And I enjoy a glass of wine or bottle of beer every now and then. Or is it a bottle of wine and a glass of beer?

I think the smart thing to do today is to take off my Old Lady Suit and get a shower in. Perhaps I'll sprinkle a little youth under my arms and take an anti-inflamatory-forget-the-shoulder-pain pill and get on with my laundry. And maybe do a little dancing.


Anonymous said...

As a long time reader, first time poster appreciate the goofy dog anecdote.

Naps ARE an age thing.

Knees I always do a deep knee bend and crack my knees (I think that's the carbon dioxide or some such gas buildup) and it works for me. Preventive maintenance.

And if you're going to tease us with a shower...you can't leave off just when you're about to lather up...that's called being a blogtease. And we'll have none of that.

ckh said...

Thanks for reading. I'll try not to do a blogtease. This is a family show here, after all.

kiara said...

I think you really need to have that car aircon checked and fixed. By the way, I think you are not aging. From your post alone, I can sense that you have a young heart, and that's what matters most. Stay young! Age, as they say, is just a number.