Thursday, May 31, 2012

New Dentist

My dentist retired. I wanted to believe that I never had to go to the dentist again, but it just wasn't true. After getting a filling not too too long ago, I am still experiencing some discomfort. Rather than having someone look at it, I went ahead and did all my chewing on the other side of my mouth. Unfortunately, I started to feel pain there, too.

Time for a new dentist.

I did my search on my insurance company's website to get one in-network so I don't have to pay as much - especially anticipating big bills coming up here. Then I cross-checked him against I hate Yelp, but it can be useful. Anyway, this new dentist got rave reviews.

He also got me in right away for a consultation, which went to today. And I think it's going to be okay. He confirmed all the things I already knew about the condition of my teeth and what might be going on with my state of pain. He also showed me on a giant computer monitor the x-rays and what he things he needs to do for me. Then he made a minor adjustment on my crown, the same as my last dentist did, rather than jumping head-first into a root-canal, and I have another appointment next week. And the week after.

The only thing that I'm a little uncertain about is his response to my up-front disclosure that I have a VERY difficult time getting numb on the bottom. He acted very confident that he would be able to help me. That's exactly what the last two dentists did, too. We'll see. He might be confident that he can get me numb, but I'm just as skeptical that he can't. At least not easily. I guess next week we'll see who has more experience in this area.

Monday, May 21, 2012

The Worst Headache of My Life

I'm working on Day 3 of a migraine today and it totally sucks. It hurts so much that I'm nauseous much of the time. And today, I did something completely irresponsible: I didn't go into my daughter's classroom to volunteer. I just didn't show up. I feel a little bad, but not as bad as my head hurts.

Funny thing, though...

I went to the drug store to buy some Migraine Relief today. In the past, I've had nominal success with Excedrin's version of this medication, but they didn't have that brand so I bought CVS's brand. I was looking at the ingredients and reading the labels and I came across the following in the Drug Facts:

"Ask a doctor have the worst headache of your life."

I think this just may be the worst headache of my life. I've talked to my doctor about migraines in the past and I even had her write me a prescription - that I never did get filled (they didn't have it in stock then when I had my next headache they had cancelled the prescription. Now I don't have it on file and don't have any in my hot little hands and this headache is off the charts. Woe is me.)

I've spent most of today as immobile as I could be and I wish I had some sort of chamber where I could float in zero gravity as to take all the pressure off my head. Putting it on a pillow hurts and therefore I can only lie down just so much. My best friend thinks that maybe I'm also sick. Maybe I got something that was going around. Maybe this awful feeling has something to do with the tick that I dis-embedded from my leg a week or so ago. In which case, do I have Lyme Disease? 

Maybe that tick was radioactive and after I come out of this adverse reaction, I'm going to have special powers that makes me part human and part tick. What are they good at, anyway? Maybe I'll be able to bury my head into a giant cake without needing to come up for air while I eat it. Maybe I'll be able to ride on dogs. 

I'd give up the ability to ride on dogs and bury my head in giant cakes just to feel good again, though. I'd rather write about spiders and the wolf that my daughter claims to have seen than complain about how awful I feel. And more than complaining about how I feel, I'd like to not actually feel badly either. 

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Dark Patch

I think that I have successfully recovered from a dark patch. Having had (too) many bouts of depression since my teen years, I am tuned into what is going on with my psyche and finally know when it's time to ask for help. Of course, as soon as I emailed my doctor, Mother Nature gave me a sign that the suffering was over.

Let's just call that the worst case of PMS I've ever had. Ever!

I did have an enlightening moment of insight that has stuck with me for days, though. I was watching the show The Finder* and one of the characters said, "You are who you think you are." Which is very much down the path of the self-fulfilling prophesy thing, and I've been repeating it over and over since then.

Can I change my disposition just by thinking I want to? I tried plastering a smile on my face today to see if it picked me up, but I found that I hadn't had enough coffee and therefore, didn't have enough energy to hold the edges of my mouth into an upward curve. But the quote gives me a certain optimism, which I like.

I know from experience that my depression is not externally charged, but from the inside and chemically composed. I'm not unhappy with my life, though I can get frustrated like everyone else. In fact, things are going very well for me lately and that makes this last dark patch further evidence to me that depression drags me against my will.

I hope that I can move on and this isn't a false start, so I'm going to do all that I can to use the quote and the belief I am not unhappy to actually feel happy. I'm going to go frolic now.

*This link has sound. I don't like to be surprised by sound, so I thought I'd warn you.

Friday, May 04, 2012

Week in Review

I've had a lot of unusual things happen to me this week. So many, in fact, that I want to list all the craziness. I'm not going to attribute them to specific days because, frankly, I don't remember that well.
  • Saw a turkey fly. I don't think I even knew that they did fly our could fly, and it looked quite awkward with that giant body and wimpy little wings. 
  • On my dog walk yesterday, I saw a decorated Christmas tree on display. Life-size! Still!
  • Learned that May 4th is Star Wars Day (as in May the 4th be with you!)
  • Removed a giant tick which had embedded himself into my knee.
  • Scalded my hand with boiling water while missing the cup I was pouring into almost entirely.
  • Dinner out with my wonderful family, husband, kids, mom, step-dad, and my favorite uncle and his wife. 
  • Raced Etchells sailboat on Saturday, which resulted in some quite nasty bruising on my arms and legs.
  • Went to take the girls to school, only to discover that the car battery was dead. My bike was in the shop so I had to go under the house to retrieve my old one. My youngest daughter walked her bike about a half-mile of a mile-and-a-half trip to school. My oldest daughter rode that distance on a flat tire.
  • Obsessed and (maybe) got over the desire to cut my hair off again. 
  • Left a bag of dog poop in the car after walk only to discover the horrid smell next time I went to drive. 
  • Screamed louder than my youngest daughter at the discovery a spider was on my bed.
I think I'm going to just leave it at that. I have things to do and I won't bore you with the rest...

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Ticked Off

I need to check my back for some kind of "Kick Me" sign taped to it, as surely there must be one. And I'm pretty sure that if I had my portrait taken, there would be a black cloud over the top of it, too.

Yesterday, after walking my dog while wearing long pants and only stepping into the brush to pick up after him, I found a tick embedded into my knee. I felt something and went to scratch it only to discover that something was stuck and that something was sucking my blood already. It hurt, too! It was nearly the size of a dime. As you can imagine, I've spent today's walk checking every ten-minutes for something crawling on me or my dog. I pulled four off of him. Thankfully he has white fur and the critters cannot hide as well.

Later yesterday, I was pouring some boiling water into a mug to make tea and I missed and poured it on my hand instead. That hurt, too. Still does. I can't believe I did that and shiver with relief every time I think that my skin could have melted off.

Then there is today's misfortune.

I skipped my morning coffee because I'm out of filters. Now that I think of it, though, I have a ton of filters that are another kind. Anyway, I skipped the coffee, took the kids to school, walked the dog then stopped off in the next town over to buy a cup of coffee. I had to wait for a woman with an orange stroller as she crossed three streets in front of me. I couldn't turn because I had to wait for her, then I couldn't turn again because I had to wait for her, then I found a juicy spot right in front of the coffee shop, only to wonder if it was actually a spot. I decided against staying and went to leave, only to have to wait for the lady with the stroller, again.

I parked much farther away, walked to the coffee shop, waited a LONG time for the guy in front of me to finish whatever he was doing then ordered. I finally got my coffee, walked all the way back to my car and drove home. Once I was home, I took my coffee with me to let my neighbor's chickens out. Meanwhile, I probably got in about three sips, waiting to sit down and drink it while reading the newspaper or something.

After all of this, I checked to make sure the dog couldn't get anything and went to the bathroom. When I got out, two seconds later, I couldn't find my coffee. Sure enough, the dog got it. He's attracted to the whip cream like I am, I'm sure. I was pissed! Am still pissed! Am still wanting desperately a cup-a-joe.

Dare I ask what else is possible?