Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Dark Patch

I think that I have successfully recovered from a dark patch. Having had (too) many bouts of depression since my teen years, I am tuned into what is going on with my psyche and finally know when it's time to ask for help. Of course, as soon as I emailed my doctor, Mother Nature gave me a sign that the suffering was over.

Let's just call that the worst case of PMS I've ever had. Ever!

I did have an enlightening moment of insight that has stuck with me for days, though. I was watching the show The Finder* and one of the characters said, "You are who you think you are." Which is very much down the path of the self-fulfilling prophesy thing, and I've been repeating it over and over since then.

Can I change my disposition just by thinking I want to? I tried plastering a smile on my face today to see if it picked me up, but I found that I hadn't had enough coffee and therefore, didn't have enough energy to hold the edges of my mouth into an upward curve. But the quote gives me a certain optimism, which I like.

I know from experience that my depression is not externally charged, but from the inside and chemically composed. I'm not unhappy with my life, though I can get frustrated like everyone else. In fact, things are going very well for me lately and that makes this last dark patch further evidence to me that depression drags me against my will.

I hope that I can move on and this isn't a false start, so I'm going to do all that I can to use the quote and the belief I am not unhappy to actually feel happy. I'm going to go frolic now.

*This link has sound. I don't like to be surprised by sound, so I thought I'd warn you.


Anonymous said...

Not to sound too depressing but The Finder was just canceled by Fox.

Just keeping it real.

Now don't go all Sylvia Plath on us. Remember this is the merry month of May. Things will get better. What's the old adage "Time heals all wounds."

At least you're not that 24-year-old Georgia girl whose fingers and leg have been amputated due to that flesh eating don't live in North Korea or don't have to wear a get my drift.

It just surprises me that anyone can be depressed in the times we live in.

Why just 5 months ago they came out with a bald Barbie (I must have missed the landing strip Barbie) who'd have thunk back in 1970 we'd ever have such a thing? On second thought, now I'm depressed.

I don't mean to come off as glib (well, yes I do) because this is a serious subject. But from an outsider's perspective you've got it going on, so this comes as a complete surprise... and I'm at a loss on what to say. But that's not going to stop me...

I know they have drugs for this sort of thing but I'd be leery of taking them as they can make a person dull (change their personality)...though it makes me wonder if this is associated with your migraines. Or if any studies have been done on the correlation between the two?

Short of prescribing 2 hours daily of Comedy Central, you should take it slow and watch a half hour of Huell Howser...he has to be the most optimistic person I've ever seen. And if that doesn't work you can't go wrong watching cat videos on Youtube.

Mr. Anonymous
(Giving unsolicitated advice for over 40 years)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for warning me that when I clicked on a video link there would be sound. Though I was kind of thrown when I saw there were also moving images to go along with the sound.*

*I know sometimes it's kind of hard telling if someone is being sarcastic on the internet...but this time I am not leaving any doubt.

Mr. Semi-Anonymous

Anonymous said...

The Doctor is in.

Tell me more.


ckh said...

Oh, Mr. Anonymous! You always cheer me up. ;) Except for the Finder being cancelled.

Anonymous said...

BTW: That'll be 5 cents.


Anonymous said...

Oh, one of my pet peeves. It's canceLed not canceLLed.

UUUUgggghhhh, between you and the airport screens, I give up.

Mr. I'm a Beaten Man.

ckh said...

I have it on good authority that both canceLed AND canceLLed are correct. I knew someone who couldn't stand when people pronounced patina as pateena because she believed it was correct to say pa-tinna. I found that both were correct, too.

Get over it. It's just a word. It's not like I'm trying to change the way we spell Amercia.

ckh said...

And you can keep the change, Lucy.