Thursday, August 05, 2010

The Universe Answers

So a woman, who worries about everything - even things she doesn't have to worry about - goes to the doctor to ask about a few things that are worrying her. She's vain, too. She doesn't like the way skin tabs appeared under her arms when she had her babies, nor does she like the bump on her leg that's red and raised.

She shows all of these to the doctor who systematically takes care of all of them. The skin tabs were frozen and have become painful and black before falling off. Quite yuck. The new mole on her chest (new from a few years ago) isn't anything to worry about. The bump on her leg is a scar and there is nothing that can be done about it.

Almost as an afterthought, she remembers to ask about the vaccination scar on her upper arm. It used to be pink and now has a little pigment inside. It's just ugly, but is it normal? To her surprise, the doctor doesn't like it. He takes a biopsy to have a better look. The hole that was left behind is even uglier than the pigment portion, but only barely.

After the first few days, the Vain Worrier can't decide to keep it wet with a bandage for faster healing or to let it scab up. She goes back and forth, but keeps it covered everywhere except home anyway.

After what feels like a long time, she wonders what the results are to the biopsy. It's been a week and three days and then the phone call comes. It's melanoma.

So, it's not that bad, it's still thin. Caught early due to diligent worrying probably. But she can't reconcile the need for it to be no-big-deal with the worry that melanoma is not no-big-deal, but a Big Deal, no matter how thin it is. And when they cut it out, how ugly is it going to be? Not that it matters, but anything to change the subject.

Wear sunscreen.

I'm going to go back to worrying. And I'm never going to feel dumb for going to the doctor to check things that are probably nothing again.

1 comment:

i love lamp said...

So glad you're a worrier!!!